The Ballad of Bossy Chicken

I was woken in the twilight of 6 AM a few Sundays back by what sounded like a really annoyed chicken.  It wasn’t that “BAWWWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWK BAWWWWWWWWWWWWWK” noise that means “I’m out of food you lazy bastard, get out here”, more of a concerned sustained crooning.

I figured fine, you woke me up, I might as well get out of bed and check.  I go outside to find Bossy standing in the middle of the coop, doing the sustained bawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwk thing.  It’s still too dark to see anything, so I have no idea what she wants.  Food?  Water?  She has both.  She can’t really be upset already that I haven’t moved the coop today.  Then, I notice something off to the side.

A HORRIBLE EVIL RACCOON.  Noooo, stay away from my chickens!  The little (ok, size of a large dog) monster just sat there staring at me for a good 2 minutes.  It was even sitting on its front paws like cats do.

I don’t really have anything to throw at it, and it might have rabies, so I kind of just made “aaaaugh go away you bastard leave my chickens alone” noises at it.  It slinked across the street and ran under a car.  Chickens defended!  There was another one around the side of the house eating god knows what.  I swear, how do they get so fat in the city?

Bossy is one brave chicken.

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